Burnout is one of those subjects that isn’t really given much societal discourse. Many are unaware of it, and many that are aware of it may relegate it to a category of pop-psychology buzzwords or touchy-feely “wellness” terms. I want to try to explain why this is a mistake and what the costs are of ignoring burnout.
Burnout, sometimes sharing an overlapping definition with the term “secondary trauma,” is the state of being so emotionally and psychologically drained or distressed that one is unable to continue one’s previous level of functioning. Usually this is defined in regard to job performance, as that is often the most noticeable sign that a person has seriously over-extended themselves or neglected self-care. Although I do take issue with confining the definition to job performance, that is also the easiest and most common way to talk about this problem. Externally, burnout looks like a decrease in ability to function, but it’s important to talk about what burnout feels like as well. I will sometimes ask clients to identify minor and major “red flags” that signal oncoming burnout. The most common among these are: muscle tension, stress headaches, lethargy, sleep disturbance, emotional sensitivity, and irritability. However, everyone has their own unique physical, mental, and emotional red flags, and I believe that coming up with a list of your own can ultimately help you to know yourself and protect yourself more fully.
With some of my clients I’ve found it useful to conceptualize an “Emotional fuel gauge.” I find that we are often not as conscious as we need to be about how much of our emotional energy we’re spending and how low our reserves may be. It can be helpful to conceptualize your energy or even draw it as a fuel gauge, with a portion near “full” colored green, a portion yellow, and the portion nearer to “low” red. It’s also important to note that everybody’s red, green and yellow areas are different, and it can help you get in tune with your emotional state by depicting this. For example, maybe one person can operate well even when about half of their energy is depleted, while another individual may find that they need to be at “full” to really do what they need to do and feel emotionally stable.
I understand that it’s not always an attractive subject for many people to think about, especially individuals who have internalized a message that their productivity determines their innate worth as human beings, but prioritizing some time and work to understand your limits in regard to work, caretaking, and being fully present can potentially save you a lot of stress and disruption down the road. And once you know that your energy is starting to dip, it’s your responsibility to find ways to care for yourself. Self-care may be expressed through hobbies, art, relaxation exercises, play, physical exercise, vacations, or just allowing yourself to sit on the couch and watch TV or read for a few hours. Many people find being out in nature to be recharging, and for others simply taking a bath or a nap may help. I’ve met far too many people who think of taking time for themselves as a somehow frivolous or wasteful endeavor, and you may have some beliefs that make it hard for you to engage in self-care. If so, it’s deeply necessary to remind yourself that you are a human being with limitations just like any other human being, and that you too are deserving of care. Oftentimes when we don’t know how to care for ourselves, we can look to other sources to care for us, and this can lead to a host of interpersonal problems like codependency.
If you find yourself relating to the feeling of burnout, or you know yourself to be someone averse to taking breaks or cutting yourself slack, therapy can be an immensely useful method to change these patterns of thought and behavior. If you’re willing to risk the vulnerability of talking about it in session, you may very well see real change in your life and get the rest and care you really deserve. But it’s up to you to reach out and deal with the problem head-on. The alternative may be burnout.