What are Adult Children of Alcoholics/Addiction Traits?

The term “adult children of addiction” is probably the most useful and relevant concept in psychology that isn’t very well known outside of clinical circles. It not only signifies a person raised by one or more addicts, but the cluster of personality traits and social roles that continuously hamper their ability to be happy and successful. This topic is something that comes up again and again in session with clients from almost every conceivable background, yet it’s rare that someone outside of the recovery world has heard the term and knows what it means. I’d like to spend some time writing about ACA traits and why they’re so relevant.

The term was originally popularized as “Adult Children of Alcoholic” traits, but over time it has been expanded to include adult children of addiction and even dysfunctional families. It came about when clinicians who treated alcoholics and addicts began to realize that often times their difficulties with emotional regulation, communication, boundaries, and authenticity came from their upbringing as children of alcoholics or addicts themselves, and that inhabiting such a position in a family makes one more prone to addictive behavior. In fact, from my work I see a huge overlap between ACA traits and what clinicians would term codependency. I tend to conceptualize ACA traits as a form of codependency fostered by being the child of an addict or a highly dysfunctional family.

The seminal work on the subject is the book Adult Children of Alcoholics by Janet Geringer Woititz. In it, the author elucidates what it means to be an adult child of alcoholics or addicts and gives examples of ACA traits as well as the means to overcome them when they become an impediment to one’s life. Readers curious about the subject may be interested in The Laundry List and the ACA Bill of Rights. Since this field of treatment began with support groups based on The 12 Step Model, there are some similarities with Alcoholics Anonymous, and the many free support groups for ACA’s will likely draw from many of the same approaches. However, one does not need to necessarily adhere to a 12 Step philosophy or attend support groups to treat ACA issues in therapy, although these steps will be helpful for many people.

As the name implies, ACA traits are not simply impairments that an individual suffered in their childhood, but untreated issues that impair one’s functioning as a healthy adult. If one is conditioned to be hypersensitive to a parent’s volatile, unpredictable, and possibly even abusive nature, then one doesn’t tend to develop a healthy sense of one’s own needs. Adult children of addiction tend to live in relation to others rather than in touch with themselves, and this can create a host of problems. An adult child of addiction has the uncanny ability to consistently fall for addicts or extremely self-centered partners. From my experience as a clinician, most if not all adult children of addiction I’ve seen have struggled greatly with even conceiving what it means to love themselves. Self-love and self-compassion are foreign concepts for a child who is used to taking care of their parents emotionally, a perversion of the natural order of things.

If my description of Adult Children of Addiction traits sounds dour, it’s probably because I’m focusing on describing what the traits are rather than how they’re treated. ACA traits are learned behaviors, and by definition can be unlearned. This may be a revolutionary statement for the individual who feels caught in an endless cycle of exploitation, dissatisfaction, alienation and abuse. Because they are so ingrained, and thus largely unconscious, individual psychotherapy can be a wonderful tool for unearthing and challenging these ways of thinking and behaving. If one or both of your parents was an addict of any sort, or if you come from a dysfunctional family, it can be massively helpful to address this in therapy. A good therapist is able to not only show you the ways in which you’ve been lied to and conditioned, but model healthier ways of communicating and acting that lead to a much less stressful and more fulfilling life if you’re willing to work on them. I hope this article was informative for any readers interested in the subject, and I welcome questions about it both outside and within therapy sessions.